Getting Serious About Bullying

Getting Serious About Bullying
Thanks to The Bully Project for sponsoring my writing. Visit their website to join the movement and learn more. It’s hard to turn on the radio, flip on the news, or open a newspaper and not hear about bullying these days. It happens in high schools, colleges, the work place, and online. In today’s social media world, everything is public, and criticism and attacks can be voiced anonymously online. Bullying is dangerous, it takes away self-esteem, causes depression, and sometimes even causes people to take their lives. The movie Bully documents the stories of five teens and their families who have been affected by bullying, with two of the students ultimately committing suicide. The director of the film, Lee Hirsch, gained unprecedented access into schools to film what is really happening with teenagers behind closed doors. Before being contacted about speaking on the topic of bullying I had never seen the trailer or even heard of the film. It is such a powerful trailer that as soon as I saw it I knew I needed to speak about it. I’ve embedded the trailer so you guys can watch it too. This trailer was so hard to watch because these are actual lives. It’s also incredibly scary. I never want my future kids to have to live like this; I never want them to have to face that kind of pain. It breaks my heart that there are kids out there that do. High school wasn’t that long ago for me. I graduated in 2008, so it’s been less than four years since I was in high school. I never experienced the kind of tormenting shown in the trailer, but that doesn’t mean high school was a joyride. High school is hard enough without bullying. There’s awkwardness, there’s angst, there’s wanting to stay young and safe for forever, but at the same time so desperately wanting your independence and to be out on your own. You experience the joys of first relationships, and the heart break that subsequently follows. You’re involved in all sorts of activities and clubs, trying to keep your grades up, trying to figure out who you want to be, and trying to get into the best colleges that you can. On top of it all, you are trying more than anything to fit in and be just like everyone else. It is so easy to feel alone, to feel like you’re not good enough, to feel like no one understands. That is why I believe the most important things you can have during such a crazy time in your life are true friends. When you are surrounded by people who love you, who accept you, and who understand you, the whole world can be raining down on you and you can still get through it. They’re the ones who you can admit your deepest darkest secrets to, and who will still be your friends no matter what. There are always people who are going to want to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Friends give you strength so that if someone says something mean to you, a boy breaks your heart, or you get passed over for a sport, you can get through it, because you know there are other things in life to look forward to. Having one or two people in your life that you can really connect with and be yourself with can help make the difference between a negative high school experience and a positive one. Meeting my friends was one of the biggest blessings in my life. I truly have some of the best friends a person could ask for. We’ve known each other since we were preteens, went through everything together as teenagers, and most importantly, are always completely ourselves with each other. They’ve never judged me, ridiculed me, laughed at me, or talked maliciously about me behind my back. I never felt like I had to impress them or be anything other than myself. I could call them at 4am crying and know that they would stay on the phone with me until I felt better. That kind of love and acceptance is so precious and so rare and for that I will always be incredibly grateful. I can’t imagine what high school would have been like without them. The sad thing is that a lot of people don’t have those kinds of friendships in high school. I saw tons of kids have falling outs with their friends and then float aimlessly around school trying to find their place. I also saw kids trying to be friends with people they had nothing in common with, just because they wanted to be a part of the “cool crowd”. Those are the kids I saw hurting and sad and having to deal with ridicule and torment. I wish I had reached out to them, I wish I had offered to listen to what they were going through, and I wish I had taken the time to become their friend. I was so comfortable and happy in my own little bubble I didn’t look far past it. If I learned one thing in high school it’s that more than anything, you need friends. You need people to lean on and count on and confide in. I may have not been able to stop someone from being bullied, but I could have stopped them from having to deal with it alone. Bullying doesn’t just end once you graduate high school; it can happen at any stage in life. I may have missed my chance to reach out to someone in high school but that doesn’t mean there won’t be more opportunities to offer a sympathetic ear to someone in the future.  Bully is one of those movies that is going to be so hard for me to watch, but at the same time it’s a movie I really need to see. I think we all need to see it. It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own little world, your own personal bubble, and to miss what’s happening around you. I hope the movie will be eye-opening for many. Writing this post made me think about graduation, it’s such a huge thing for high schoolers. You’ve reached the end of an era and are about to start your next big adventure in life. I went back in time on Facebook and found some pictures of me and my best friends on our big day. I’d like to thank them from the bottom of my heart for their friendship, for the amazing memories, and for shielding me from so much of the pain and ridicule associated with high school. They helped make me the person I am today and I know without a doubt I will be friends with them for forever. My reason for writing this post is to encourage everyone to spread love and happiness. Be a friend. Make a connection with someone who is hurting. Strive to leave the world a little bit better than it was when you entered. Everyone has struggles and hardships and they are tough enough to deal with without people spreading hate and anger. I also wanted to share this song with you guys. It’s Lullaby by Nickelback. I’ve been hearing it on the radio lately and the lyrics practically scream out to kids that are being bullied and going through hard times that it’s going to get better and that it’s going to be okay and that you should never give up.  The film Bully opens nationwide this Friday, April 13. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. Find showings in your area for The Bully Project and buy tickets here.

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