1. In a marriage, two people are going from being sole decision makers to being two people that make decisions together. That can be hard. You may find yourself crying after unsuccessfully furniture shopping for your new apartment and wondering why you just can't agree. Cut each other some slack. Talk it out. It gets easier.
2. Dating is full of excitement and fun. Marriage brings along stability and routine. That doesn't mean marriage has to be boring. Keep dating each other. Plan fun events. Make time to talk about each other's day. Do something sweet just because. See the adventure in the everyday. And never take each other for granted. Josh and I like to think about it as getting to date the same person for the rest of our lives.
3. Talk about everything. Seriously, good communication is the basis of a healthy relationship. Josh knows pretty much every thought I have in my head. We talk about how we feel, what we think, and what we believe in. You can't talk too much. Even if we're not on the same page, we always know what page the other person is on.
4. Fights happen. They're a healthy part of a relationship. But make sure that you're fighting to work through an issue. Don't fight just because. And don't fight dirty. For instance, Josh may be being inconsiderate, or acting stupid, (and I'll tell him that) but he is not inconsiderate or stupid. I wouldn't marry a stupid, inconsiderate guy. We call each other out on our behaviors, but we don't name call. I think that's an important distinction.
5. Encourage one other to pursue individual passions and take an interest in those passions. Really listen when your husband describes the history behind the beers he tried while out with the guys at a brewery. Try a Zumba class with your wife sometime so you can see why she loves it so much. You don't have to love their solo interests, but showing an interest in each others' hobbies shows the other person how much you respect and appreciate the things that mean something to them.
6. Give each other the benefit of the doubt. When you find yourself upset or hurt by something your spouse did, remember that this person loves you before flying off the handle. They married you and said vows in front of your family and friends to love you forever. They may have screwed up, but likely not on purpose or with malicious intent. Reminding yourself that your husband didn't forget the grocery list to purposely piss you off can completely change how you handle the situation.
7. Trust. And be trustworthy. A marriage without trust is not a healthy marriage. Don't play games with someone's heart.
8. Do play games though. :D Be silly together. Make each other laugh. Be friends. Marriage is a lot more sitting around talking and enjoying each other's company than it is rose petals and love songs.
9. Make each other a priority. Life gets busy and can pull you in a million different directions. When this happens it's important to prioritize your relationship. We constantly grow and change as time goes on. That's a good thing. But if you're not growing together you're likely growing apart.
10. Love unconditionally. You've found your soul mate. You get to wake up every day and go to bed each night with the person you love. Be grateful. You are incredibly blessed.
[Tweet "Marriage advice from the no-longer newlyweds #marriage #love #advice"]
Questions of the Day: Do you agree with my marriage advice? What's a lesson you learned in marriage?
Advice from the no-longer newlyweds
1. In a marriage, two people are going from being sole decision makers to being two people that make decisions together. That can be hard. You may find yourself crying after unsuccessfully furniture shopping for your new apartment and wondering why you just can't agree. Cut each other some slack. Talk it out. It gets easier.
2. Dating is full of excitement and fun. Marriage brings along stability and routine. That doesn't mean marriage has to be boring. Keep dating each other. Plan fun events. Make time to talk about each other's day. Do something sweet just because. See the adventure in the everyday. And never take each other for granted. Josh and I like to think about it as getting to date the same person for the rest of our lives.
3. Talk about everything. Seriously, good communication is the basis of a healthy relationship. Josh knows pretty much every thought I have in my head. We talk about how we feel, what we think, and what we believe in. You can't talk too much. Even if we're not on the same page, we always know what page the other person is on.
4. Fights happen. They're a healthy part of a relationship. But make sure that you're fighting to work through an issue. Don't fight just because. And don't fight dirty. For instance, Josh may be being inconsiderate, or acting stupid, (and I'll tell him that) but he is not inconsiderate or stupid. I wouldn't marry a stupid, inconsiderate guy. We call each other out on our behaviors, but we don't name call. I think that's an important distinction.
5. Encourage one other to pursue individual passions and take an interest in those passions. Really listen when your husband describes the history behind the beers he tried while out with the guys at a brewery. Try a Zumba class with your wife sometime so you can see why she loves it so much. You don't have to love their solo interests, but showing an interest in each others' hobbies shows the other person how much you respect and appreciate the things that mean something to them.
6. Give each other the benefit of the doubt. When you find yourself upset or hurt by something your spouse did, remember that this person loves you before flying off the handle. They married you and said vows in front of your family and friends to love you forever. They may have screwed up, but likely not on purpose or with malicious intent. Reminding yourself that your husband didn't forget the grocery list to purposely piss you off can completely change how you handle the situation.
7. Trust. And be trustworthy. A marriage without trust is not a healthy marriage. Don't play games with someone's heart.
8. Do play games though. :D Be silly together. Make each other laugh. Be friends. Marriage is a lot more sitting around talking and enjoying each other's company than it is rose petals and love songs.
9. Make each other a priority. Life gets busy and can pull you in a million different directions. When this happens it's important to prioritize your relationship. We constantly grow and change as time goes on. That's a good thing. But if you're not growing together you're likely growing apart.
10. Love unconditionally. You've found your soul mate. You get to wake up every day and go to bed each night with the person you love. Be grateful. You are incredibly blessed.
[Tweet "Marriage advice from the no-longer newlyweds #marriage #love #advice"]
Questions of the Day: Do you agree with my marriage advice? What's a lesson you learned in marriage?
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